More Changes, Spinning Wheels, and Goal Setting

Sometimes it seems I'm spending my retirement years just stuck, spinning my wheels, aimlessly going nowhere.  It's depressing seeing that, even in this beautiful place, I am still stuck in my habit of being a recluse, staying in the apartment, not going out except on shopping trips with Diana, or visiting the family.  I spend way too much time on Facebook, commenting on way too many groups, staying up way too late, waiting for a chat with Mark.  And if I'm not on my laptop, I'm on my Tablet, playing endless games of Words With Friends, doing self-readings with my Tarot and Oracle apps, or reading books and magazines, which, at least, is productive because I'm reading spiritual and intellectual books and magazines, and stretching my mind, reading things I never dreamed of before, like politics, economics, and various Isms.  I also watch too much Netflix.  I don't watch a lot of TV anymore, but I watch a lot of movies.  I also watch YouTube videos, but even that is part of my education, watching Progressive Talk Shows, documentaries, and Wicca teachings. 

What I really need to do is set some goals for myself, and set up some sort of routine, or schedule, so I can get things done, and stop spinning my wheels.  Speaking of which,  I am going to go shopping this week for a new set of wheels!  A new car!  Can't wait to get back on the road.  I got my eyes checked, finally, a few weeks ago, passed the test, and got my license back.  But the car is beyond driving, so I'm going to get a newer one.  That will be a good thing to do with my inheritance money. 

Major Changes And More Poetry

This is sort of an update in a nutshell.  My spiritual quest took a turn on the spiral of truth, or should I say the Wheel of the Year, and I am now neo-pagan, Eclectic Wicca.  I got involved in a Facebook group for beginners in Paganism and Wicca, took an interesting course on Wicca (Wicca: A Year And A Day), which I wasn't able to complete for various reasons.  I learned a lot, and enjoyed it.  I'm still learning and practicing on my own.  

Last year,  Spring Equinox,  Aaron left this world behind, gave up the fight with ALS, and, true to his Gemini curiosity, intellect, and scientific mind,  chose cryonics,  and had his body put on ice, hoping to be unfrozen in a future when the medical research finds a cure for that horrible disease that crippled his body, stole his breath silenced his voice, but left his mind intact. Diana and I had planned to go to see him his last weeks on earth, but a freak blizzard canceled our flights. 

I moved last fall, in September to a bigger, nicer apartment, by a lake with fountains.  And I live upstairs now.  I got the last of my inheritance, so was able to buy brand new furniture for the living room, for the first time in decades, even have a beautiful geometric swirl designed area rug.  Life is good!

My LDR with my Twin is still going strong, now into our 6th year, still in love, crazy about each other,  and Best Friends Forever.  I never imagined anything like this. 

And, in addition to my spiritual views changing,  so have my political views.  For the first time in my life,  I am involved in a campaign to get a Democratic Socialist into the White House.  I think I'm a throwback to the 60s,  more Liberal than ever.  And it feels good! 

Time for An Update, A Lot Has Happened

I can't believe that I haven't been on this blog since 2011. So much has happened since then. I lost both of my parents, have a 'new' car, and am making plans to improve my life and have more fun, with the inheritance I got.

I've been back to Virginia 3 times since my last entry. In July 2011, I was called home on an emergency. Actually, a Family Reunion had been planned for August, but Diana called me in July and said Dad was in hospital, very ill. When I got there he was on life support, semi-conscious. He had had surgery for a hole in his intestine which had ruptured. He died from septicemia, just before he was supposed to go to a hospice, a week and a half after I got there. We had a very nice funeral for him, with military honors. Diana Sue and I sang Amazing Grace, and Steve dressed in his dress uniform and took part in the flag ceremony.
The family reunion was nice, and it was great to have all six children together again.
There was a bit of excitement during the last week of my visit: an earthquake the day I went to Sandbridge with Les, Tyler and Jason, and Hurricane Irene. My flight home was delayed because of it.

May 2012, Memorial Day Weekend, I went back to Virginia for another Family Reunion. It just happened that that was also the Fellowship Family Reunion, so Aaron and I went to that and had a great time catching up with old friends.
While I was there, I got new glasses.

October 2012 was a happy time, with the birth of Diana and Nathan's baby boy, Jack Aaron, born the week before Halloween, on October 22.

February this year, I went home on another emergency. Mom was in hospital. She had been in and out of the hospital and rehab center off and on since July 2012, when she fell and had complications. She died before I left, on the 9th. This time I was there to help plan the funeral. We had a nice one for her. As always, Les did the eulogy, Diana and I spoke a bit, and I got brave and sang a solo, In the Garden. It turned out beautifully, the mike worked well, my voice was strong and clear, and I didn't get emotional.
I brought home some of my inheritance, the musical clock, which I am enjoying in my living room, and the two Indian paintings Mom did, which I will be hanging on my wall after I get the apartment painted. That's my plan, anyway. I also brought home some of Mom's towels, so now I have some nice towels and wash cloths.
I got some of the cash inheritance, too, so brought home some nice new jeans, shirts, and jackets, a nice new wardrobe. I was able to bring everything with me, since I didn't have to fly home. I inherited the mini-van, a nice late model Chrysler Town and Country, which I promptly traded to Diana and Nathan when I got home. Thank goodness Joe drove it home. With my eyes, and having not driven in over a year, I was not sure about driving it all that way.
It gave Joe an excuse for a short vacation. We stayed with Diana, Nathan, and the kids, and had a great time, watching movies, and playing Magic the Gathering.

So, I traded the van for Diana's 1995 Nissan Altima! They needed the van more than I did, with 3 kids, and I have a cute little sporty Nissan. They fixed it up nicely, put in a new Stereo AM/FM radio with CD player, mp3 outlet, and USB phone charger built in. I love it!

Hope I Don't Get Sick...Ever!

Well, I soon will be free of the truck, which means no more insurance bills.  Next step is to opt out of  Medicare B.  That will get me back to what I had before for my Social Security check,  another $100 per month.  I just might be able to make it that way.  I'm also going to contact the bank, and see about removing some of those awful overdraft fees. 

And I guess I have to face actuality, and give up some of my dreams.  It looks like I'll be stuck here for the rest of my life,  no moving back to the beach, no trip to Australia.  I don't know which hurts worse.

Medicare Disaster! How Dumb and Naive Can I Be!

Well, I made it to 65, and got my first Medicare check...along with a hard slap in the face by REALITY CHECK!!! Ouch!   Somehow, I had the idea that a Medicare check was in addition to my Social Security check.   NOOOO!!! I found out the hard way, with bouncing checks and bank overdraft fees all over the place.  The fact is Medicare is taken out of my already meager Social Security check.  I'm poor as a church mouse (wherever that adage came from), but, somehow, I will survive.

One thing that will help right away is that my old truck will soon be out of here.  I am selling it to an environmental-conscious re-cycler of scrap metal.  That feels good to my New Age spirit.  It will feel good to be able to pay a bit of the overdrafts, too.

Without truck insurance, I just might make it.  Or, if worse comes to worse, I suppose I could look for a walking-distance job. What a depressing thought! Ugh!!    Oh well, another lesson, and Thank you Very Much ADD!!!

Reinventing Myself

I'm becoming what I always thought I would be in my autumn years: an eccentric old wise woman.  Well, not too sure about wise, considering some of the dumb ADD things I still do, but eccentric, most definitely!

I'm back to my New Age self, and enjoying it!  For Halloween, I dressed up like a Medicine Woman just for fun.  Nobody came to my door for Trick or Treat, so I put on some Native American music and danced.  It was fun and spiritual.

Now I do Zen meditation.  And I changed my Facebook name back to Astranda:  AstrandaLynn AngelStar Winborn.  It fits me well now.  I'm also getting more artistic, and illustrating my blogs. 

In short, I'm reinventing myself, and enjoying it.  :)

Can't Believe It: Medicare!!

Less than a month and I'll be 65!! Medicare kicks in next month, right around my birthday.  So I'll be getting a little extra money now.  But of course it will all go for medical insurance,  no free ride there.  I'm rarely sick, but it's best to be prepared, I guess.